My Fear Of Heights: How It Paralysed Me And Changed My Life

climbing trees

The story of my life, How I overcame my depression after falling to death. Thanks to my psychiatrist I am still mentally stable. Feel free to read how I got my life back after my tragic accident.

I was one of those kids that loved heights. My mother would constantly scold me to “Stay out of the trees” and “get off the roof”. I enjoyed being up high and never thought twice about any danger that would befall me should I tumble from such high places. Like most kids those things never even entered my mind, it was just good fun.

Through the rest of my school years, middle school and high school I pretty much abandoned the adventures of tree climbing and focused on other things. As is common with adolescence, girls and studies start to take the place of daydreaming about being a monkey swinging in a tree. Sure there were the occasional instances of jumping from a high cliff into a nice cool lake in the summer, but otherwise, my height adventures were over albeit temporarily.

The joy of climbing would eventually return to me as an adult when I pursued a career as a contractor. Clearly, as a contractor I would spend quite a bit of time back on the rooftops I enjoyed as a young boy.

Work was going well, and my busy was steadily growing. I had amassed a small fleet of trucks and had a great small business going. Revenues were increasing yearly, and there was very little I could complain about. I did get a touch when the market dipped but overtime the calls started to return, and business was back to usual.

As the business grew, I ended up relying on my crew more and more for the hard labour and would only fill in if someone called in sick or missed a day for some other miscellaneous reason. These were few and far between so when they did come up I didn’t mind them much since it felt good to work with my hands occasionally.

Luck would have it that on one of those fateful days I would suffer an unfortunate accident. As a business, my crew and I were always extremely careful to follow all rules and directions, but sometimes things happen that are out of your control. When my accident occurred, I was on the roof of a two-story house. It was a beautiful house that overlooked the entire valley, and I was repairing their roof. The common saying with accidents is that “it only takes a second” and in my case, that couldn’t be truer. One moment I was down on my knees working on the roof and the next moment I stood up, lost my balance, and fell the full two stories.

fragile roof

It was one of those falls that knocked the air out of me and left me lying on the ground for several long minutes before I even tried to move. While on the ground I felt ok, at least I didn’t feel any immediate pain. That all changed as soon as I tried to sit up.

The moment I lifted my back from the ground a sharp pain shot up, my entire spine and I realised the fall had been much more serious than I originally thought. An ambulance was called, and I was put on a gurney and taken to the local hospital where I learned that I had severely damaged several vertebrae in my back. The hospital staff did their best to put on happy faces and to appear optimistic but as the testing continued it became obvious that I would probably never be able to walk again. With the fall I had lost the use of my legs. In the short span of time, it took me to stand on the roof and then fall off of it I had become paralysed for the rest of my life.

Like all people that find themselves suddenly paralysed I went through a long period of depression and was put on a steady regimen of exercise to try and return my ability to walk. After months of assistance from a nurse, it was decided that there had been no progress and it was determined that I would be confined to a wheel chair for the rest of my life.

With the final permanent diagnoses, I had a mental change. Where I had previously been depressed and lethargic about my condition, I had a rousing change about and decided I could do something else positive even if I wouldn’t be able to do it walking.

paralised

I had been reading a lot about people that had been writing blogs for a living. I still had money from my contractor business, so I knew I would be able to support myself for a while why I got my blog started. The idea was that I could start a blog that would help other people in similar situations. As someone that recently became paralysed I understood the unease and the depression and general confusion that comes from being uncertain about your future and about how you’ll even get by day to day. I wanted to create a blog that would help others like myself to feel less helpless.

It took a while to get my blog off the ground, but consistency was the key. The more I posted, the more traffic I got and the more traffic that visited, the more comments and links began to appear. It was clear that my blog was doing exactly what I had set out for it to do, help others. Overtime I was able to make a living wage from my blog, and it became my fulltime career. Through carefully placed ads and product placements, I was able to make a substantial amount of money which allowed me to continue living the lifestyle I had before becoming paralysed.

In short working on the blog felt incredible. I didn’t even have to leave my house to be a financial contributor to my household. When I first got my diagnoses, I thought I was doomed to be a drag on my family forever, with blogging as a business that has all changed.

Writen by Jayden Vogt